Our Fair Ladies
by SilverCrystal029
Summary: Inuyasha and Miroku share a sake filled talk musing about their ladies. Takes place the night after episode 27: The Lake Of The Evil Water God. One Shot.


It was the following night after the fake Water God had been defeated sparing an entire village. Though Inuyasha felt pretty good about the feat of destroying the snake youkai, no jewel shards were recovered. Since they still had no leads and Sango was still recovering they decision was made to head back towards Kaede's village to regroup. Kagome, Sango, Shippo and Kirara had retreated to a nearby hut to rest. The monk, he noticed, was nowhere to be seen. Inuyasha was less than alarmed by this as he prepared to pick a perch to rest in. "Inuyasha?"

He turned to the sing song school girl's voice as she approached, smiling sweetly. Inuyasha rolled his shoulder with a cocky grin. "Kagome. By the way, tell Sango she did a pretty good job earlier." The school girl nodded as she stood by the hanyou and peered into his face. Inuyasha knew the look all too well. She was about to ask him something, probably something he didn't want to do. "Will do. Say, Inuyasha..." He sighed as her name rolled sweetly past her lips. "What, woman?" He tried to ignore her batting eyelashes. "Sango mentioned that she's worried about Miroku since he went off on his own. Since she's still recovering and you have a such a good sense of smell..." Kagome let her voice trail off from them. Inuyasha sighed.

"Miroku's a big boy, I'm sure he's fine." Was Inuyasha's indifferent reply. Kagome struggled not to get impatient. "But Inuyasha... Don't you get it? Sango's warming up to him! I think-" Kagome leaned in and whispered carefully. "I think something happened we got split up, I'm not sure though." He eyed Kagome wearily. The love lives of the tajiya or the monk were of no concern to him. "Kagome..." He began but how could he resist her big, doe eyes? "Oh please?" With a huff Inuyasha gave in. "Oh alright. Don't beg. You go inside and I will find the lech." "Oh thank you, Inuyasha!" He rolled his eyes as he sniffed delicately. Miroku's scent was near by, luckily. With a large leap he followed his nose.

It _appeared_ the aroma of the monk was leading him to the Bone Eater's Well. Perturbed, Inuyasha approached the wooden structure to hear shuffling inside. "Miroku? That you down there?!" The shuffling stopped as a voice rose from within. "Oh, Inuyasha! Just the person I wanted to see! Perhaps you can tell me the trick to this well..." Inuyasha rolled his eyes and peered over the edge. Just as he suspected Miroku was at the bottom plodding the earth. "There's no trick to tell. Would ya get out of there?" Miroku sighed and clambered out of the well in disappointment.

"What would possibly make you want to go to Kagome's time?" Inuyasha scolded. Miroku's sneaky smile was his only response. "Nevermind... Don't answer that." Inuyasha turned to walk away when the monk grabbed him. "Oh c'mon? Don't you like to have any fun?" Inuyasha glared. The more he sniffed the more he realized the monk had sipped a little sake. _'Great...'_ "Kagome-sama once told me that _all_ the girls in her 'schools' wore the same outfit as her. Have you ever seen such a sight, Inuyasha?" Inuyasha baulked, disgusted at the monk's one track mind. "What?! No ya idiot, I haven't!" Miroku shook his head with a chuckle. "Then you my friend have not been utilizing the well correctly." Inuyasha huffed. "Listen, the only reason I came to find you was because Sango was askin' about you! Now will ya go see what she wants?" Miroku's face straightened for a moment. "Sango..." He slowly sat down with his back to the well, a pensive look on his face.

"_Now_ what are you doing?" Inuyasha questioned incredulously. Miroku patted the ground beside him. "Thinking! Join me and have some sake!" Inuyasha looked tiredly at the monk. "I don't really like that drinking shit." Unsure of why, Inuyasha slowly settled into a sitting position as Miroku took a celebratory swig of alcohol. "Ah, it'll be nice to talk! Just us guys." Inuyasha cocked an eyebrow. "I'm scared of what you have to say..." After a moment more of silence Inuyasha posed a question. "So what _did_ happen between you and Sango? Why's she asking about you all of a sudden?" Miroku smirked slyly. "Well, I _did_ almost kiss her..." Inuyasha's ears flattened a little as he leaned in, a slight blush on his cheeks. "R-Really...?"

Miroku chuckled at that and took a swig. "Yes but only because I thought she'd swallowed some water when the River God attacked us... I'd love to say something happened between us but sadly that wasn't the case, _yet_." A look of determination crossed the monk's features as he thought of the demon slayer. Inuyasha relaxed and leaned against the well. "So ya like her? I mean, as much as any other woman?" Miroku thought for a moment. "Inuyasha, you know I'm a slave to the beauty of the female form. How can I not appreciate Sango's beauty? You think she's beautiful, don't you?" Inuyasha went rigid, looking away from the monk. "Feh!"

Miroku leaned closer. "I know every woman you've loved looks the same but, objectively speaking, Sango is very attractive." Inuyasha snatched the flask in a flash and took a quick swig. This conversation with Miroku was going to drive him to alcoholism. "Listen monk..." Miroku grabbed the flask back with a triumphant grin. "Strike a nerve?" Inuyasha took another swig of the fiery substance and felt his ears tingle. "Alright, fine. Sango is... _Pretty."_ He said finally as though it were painful. Miroku laughed as Inuyasha forced the uneasy admittal. "Inuyasha, now please. I want dibs on Sango!" Inuyasha sent Miroku a dark glare. "So ya do like her!" Miroku's smile transformed into a grimace.

"Maybe these feelings... That are so different, maybe I do. She deserves a lot more than I can provide, which is only a promise I'm not sure I can keep." Inuyasha eyed the monk a little more serious now. "Why do you say that?" He only smiled sadly, setting the flask down. "I can't promise that Naraku will be defeated in time. To leave Sango with my heir and a legacy of heartache.. She deserves more than that." Inuyasha was frowning now, snatching the flask and taking a hearty sip. "We're gonna beat Naraku, ya idiot. You don't have to worry about what ifs. We will." Miroku found Inuyasha's words strangely comforting.

Miroku looked up to the stars for a moment. The sky was so clear. He turned to Inuyasha with a sly smile. "Now that you've grilled me... What about you and Kagome?" Inuyasha tensed and fired back immediately. "What about us?" Miroku only chuckled. "You know what I mean... It's very obvious she cares about you and vice versa." Inuyasha crossed his arms and looked away. "Feh. You don't know what you're talking about." Miroku jabbed Inuyasha roughly in the ribs. "Don't be naive. She travels time just to be with you. If that doesn't prove it-" "Can't we change the subject?" Miroku sighed, but obliged. "Fine, fine. I won't bother you anymore."

The two sat in silence just listening to the sounds of the forest around them. The sake was starting to affect even the hanyou as he felt as though his whole body was buzzing. "Inuyasha." Miroku whispered. "Yeah?" "Wh-What do you think Kagome's breasts look like?" Ordinarily, the hanyou would've hit the monk and stomped off. He was feeling a tad too light hearted due to alcohol. With a bit of a smile, he answered. "I saw them once on accident..." "You lie! Inuyasha you dog-" "I ain't _like_ you! I didn't look on purpose... They were like perfect raindrops." Inuyasha answered with a smug smile. Miroku stared dreamily into space. "You, my friend, have reached nirvana yet." Inuyasha chuckled. "I can tell from what I've felt and what I've seen the sight of Sango naked will leave me breathless!" Miroku turned to the hanyou with wide eyes. "What do you think Sango's look like?" Inuyasha hiccuped as he racked his brain to imagine the demon slayer.

"Sango's a little older than Kagome and taller. She has wider hips... So a bigger chest." He hiccuped again. "Probably... More of a handful." He gestured with his claws in front of him. Miroku almost drooled imagining the sight. A perfect, soft, fleshy handful... "I pray to kami we will one day be rewarded with both Kagome and Sango's 'raindrops'." Miroku gestured lewdly with his hands again. Inuyasha flashed a toothy grin. "Yeah. They both have a nice set of _raindrops_." "And just what are my **raindrops**?"

Both men gasped to see to very irate look women across from them. In their drunken stupor they had failed to notice that they had arrived. They had never really seen them look quite so angry before. Both Inuyasha and Miroku cowered as the woman stalked over. "Inuyasha! I expected such talk from Miroku but for you to join in..." Kagome's fists were straightened by her sides in fury. Inuyasha looked pleadingly up at the dark haired girl. "W-Wait! Kagome! It's Miroku's fault- He gave me the sake!" He cried helplessly. "Inuyasha." Kagome said with a sweet smile. "You know what's next, don't you?" Realization dawned on the hanyou's face. "Wait, WAIT! Kag-" "SIT. SIT. SIT. SIT. **SIT BOY**! AND STAY THERE!" Inuyasha didn't even hear Kagome's haughty retreat as she stomped away. He was too far down in the ground.

Miroku looked up to Sango, her eyes frighteningly vacant. "Now Lady Sango, I certainly ca-" Miroku's sentence ended as her giant bone weapon landed on his head with an unforgiving thud. "Go to sleep, Miroku. Because the only place you will ever see my 'raindrops' is in your **dreams**." Miroku slid to the ground, his head aching dully. Inuyasha glared daggers at him as he clambered out of the crater in the ground. "I am **NEVER** listening to you again. Ever! Sake is the devil's water!" Miroku didn't hear. He had taken Sango's advice. If in sleep he could see her raindrops, to sleep he would go.


End file.
